China Miéville is alone in the British Library, having earlier opened its new ‘Out of this World’ sci-fi exhibit. It’s late at night, and China is slowly perusing the many displays. As he is contemplating a life-size model of a Martian ‘Tripod’ from The War of the Worlds, China suddenly hears a loud crash behind him.
He turns around, his eyes scanning the low-light for the source of the commotion: but he sees nothing. After a moment’s thought, China returns his attention to the Tripod. But then another clang rings throughout the night; China spins on his heels, but again the cause of the noise eludes him – he just sees an empty trash-can, ominously rolling down a silent corridor.
Another clatter; to his right. But when he turns, all he can see is a low-hanging, recently-disturbed ceiling light swinging back and forth. However, China Miéville now spots something from the corner of his eye; a figure! And as he turns to face the arched entrance to the exhibit, he spies the unmistakable silhouette of Slavoj Žižek, delineated in the glow of moonlight.
“I’ve been watching you Miéville” Žižek says, stepping forward, “I know what you’re up to” he points “you’re trying to usurp me, but you will fail!! There’s only room in this world for one poster-boy of pop-culture Marxism with a phonically difficult surname. And that’s me! ME! ME! ME! You will not take that away from me.”
With that, Slavoj Žižek runs towards China Miéville, ready to assault the baffled novelist. In an effort to escape the charging philosopher, China climbs up the limbs of the model Tripod and into the cockpit. To his surprise, he finds an entire set of fully-working controls. Aiming the Tripod’s cannon at his on-coming assailant, China pulls the trigger, and with a brilliant laser of bright-blue light, disintegrates Slavoj Žižek.
As the dust settles and calm returns to the exhibit, China finds a note among the ashes of his foe:
This is just the beginning
Signed: The Hooded Bastard…..
WINNER: CHINA MIÉVILLE